A Letter That Touched My Heart

Every now and then I receive a letter that just touches my heart and removes any doubt as to why I am a writer. I thought I'd share it with you.

I have just finished reading the book [Breathe for Me] TODAY and it is no coincidence that God made me wait until now to read it. You see, I am currently in a situation where I was dating a great guy and we ended up committing ourselves into a relationship. We broke up because of a misunderstanding that I credit is most of my fault. But more importantly, as I look back at our situation in retrospect, I took God out of it and clearly He ain't having it. 

Lately, the guy and I have been back and forth and I have tried to force so many things onto the guy. Currently, the guy is saying things that do not line up with his actions. For example, he had never said that he does not care for me, but me being in my feelings (not getting my way) has led me to believe that it was the case. Yet his actions show me that he cares. Finally I am convinced that only God and time can fix this. Now this guy is a great guy, much like Marcus which is why I am persistent in my praise knowing that God will fix this for us. 

In your story you wrote that Tara and Marcus were separated for three months, (I think), while I feel like this is a long time for my guy and I, it made me realize the reality of just how powerful time and prayer are. I enjoyed reading a love story that showed two young people who lived a Godly life. This is not something that is common with my age group. It is easy for women my age to think that we have to give up our bodies in order to have life, love and happiness, when really it is God who gives all of these things, freely. That is the beauty of grace! I have been sexually active in the past and I am finally foolish enough to believe that even in this corrupt world, there is a man that will wait until marriage. I simply must set the standard. 

I saw a lot of myself in Tara because I too suffered many abusive situations as a child but I kept going. I recently graduated from College and I am headed to law school, Lord's will.  

Towards the end of the book, you wrote, " Tara understood that in order to make her marriage and relationships work, she had to turn her burdens over to the only source who is big enough to handle it" ( pg. 304). Wow! How amazing is that! To know that as a believer I do not have to hurt or carry on bitterness! That God loves me so much that He will do all of that for me. I have decided that I will truly make God my everything and dismiss anything that does not glorify Him. 

Thank you for being a light for me when I was in a dark place. Your book has encouraged me to not pay attention to that mainstream media and see what God says about my situations. I can also say that this book has indirectly brought me closer to the Lord. 

I need to read some more of your material...what do you suggest next? You may end up becoming my favorite author! 

Ray Loves Janay

Ray loves Janay. It sounds like a great title for a novel. It's true he does love her. Ray loves Janay the only way he knows how. Now, before you begin to call me crazy, and drag your mouse to the close button, hear me out.  Ray is only capable of giving what he possesses. Yes, he has some major deficiencies: self control, self esteem, and his morale compass is pretty skewed. But, guess what? We created this monster.

Ray Rice is accustomed to hearing "yes" from everyone. As a matter of fact, he expects it. From the time he hit the football field as a freshman at New Rochelle High School in New Rochelle, New York, he has been winning championships and setting records. Teachers, coaches, family, and friends saw greatness in him and decided to ride the proverbial "gravy train" until the wheels fell off. In most cases, athletes like Raymell Mourice Rice, are birthed into the family of "as long as you win, to hell with everything else."

Ray rice, shows his love and receives love much like all athletes at the top of their game, with hesitation and trepidation. They never understand who really loves them and who is simply using them. If we're honest with ourselves, we, as fans, have a fickle kind of love.  We only care and love our athletes when they win and for the most part are unconcerned about off-the-field behavior. Can you see how this type of message sets a precedence? We love our athletes based on contingencies.

Athletes are desperate to maintain perfection and win championships. They possess a love/hate relationship with their fans and the game, often times feeling depressed and disarrayed. Therefore in order to maintain control and ensure that the love keeps flowing from the fans, and from loved ones, aggression is used on the field...and sometimes off the field.  Add to the mix, the introduction of performance enhancing drugs which often breed hostility, and this becomes a dangerous combination.
So what do we do to fix this? Stop idolizing our athletes. Give them the support at the beginning of their career to build up the whole person, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Punish and correct bad behavior immediately and at an early age. Lastly, teach our girls to value themselves and their relationships by walking away when abuse comes into play.

Ray does love Janay, but when love knocks you unconscious, it's time to move on.